If You Want to Get Your Ex Back, Don't Stay Friends With Them!

by Emma Audley


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   Your fear of losing your lover is understandably high. However, if you want to get your ex back in your life as a lover, staying friends won't do the trick! Keep your head on your shoulders and see how bad things can turn out to become if you choose to stay close to the one who left you. It doesn't make that much logic either: if your ex would've still wanted you around for real, then he/she would've tried to find a way for this relationship to work.

   Don't give in to the appearances. If you want your ex to dream of you, then you'd better give him/her time to sleep. That being said, you can never dream of a close friend or of someone you are not interested in. Staying friends with your ex may seem like a mature and noble thing to do after you broke up, but, believe me, it is going to bring you nothing but trouble. Not many good friends turn into lovers, and no good friends become a couple again once the friendship feelings have settled between them. If getting your ex back is your goal, then you can now understand why such a friendship should be absolutely out of the question.

   Here are some other good reasons why "befriending" your ex lover is not indicated in a "get back together" plan:

   - Besides all the passion that you must kill inside you, the thought of seeing your ex holding the hand of another will definitely not be your cup of tea. So be honest to yourself: what good would it make?

   - It may seem like an attractive solution at first, but this blade cuts at both of its ends. It is hard to see someone who you are deeply in love with just as a friend. It's even harder to be a true friend to that person when your intentions are different than keeping a friendship relation with him/her.

  - Staying friends to the one you love means "bye-bye new prospects". Who know who might show up your way and you will be so blinded to see that opportunity that later you will seek for a place to smash your head for your ignorance.

   - Your ex will probably be more vigilant than you and find somebody to fall in love with. You wouldn't want to be turned into the "advisor" when your ex asks you about what to wear at the first date, what present to get for the new sweetheart, which movie to see with that person and so on. That's what a real friend would be able to tell, right? The only difference is that you'll get terribly hurt seeing it all happen right under your nose.

   - By staying friends with your ex, you will get your ex into the comforting zone of always having your approval that this new type of relationship is way better than forming a couple with you. How can you get your ex back if that is how he/she sees you?

   - Last but not least, friends don't make love to each other. They are totally asexual for one another. If you do not with to be the slayer of your ex's passion for you (as much as what's still left) do not stay friends with your ex.

   Stay away from you ex for a while and let him/ her miss what you had. The way to regain you lover's interest in being with you is not by suffocating him/her with your presence and attention; on the contrary, the more distant you are, the more attractive you get. Do not exaggerate, though. Too much is never too good.


   © Copyright Emma Audley, 2009



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